Last Sunday (Father's Day) was one of the scariest days of my life. Ed, my kitty of two years, went missing for a day. I hope I never have to go through that type of experience-- with a kitty or a child-- ever again. That type of fear is something no one should have to go through. It's deep, and it hurts. It sits in the pit of your stomach and refuses to go away until something good and/or miraculous happens. Ed, I learned that day, was a big walking furball of miracles.
The day started off well. Shawn and I had moved in to our new apartment the day beforehand and we were pumped up with excited energy about finally getting out of Milwaukee. Since we didn't have our internet set up at the new place yet, Shawn had to stay the night at our old apartment because he was on call for work and needed instant access to the internet. Kathleen, who helped us with the move the previous day, stayed the night with me instead. We had brought over the kitties and Fru during the move and I didn't want to leave them alone in a new environment on their first night.
After unpacking more things that Sunday, Shawn showed up to make sure everything went well with the cable/internet guy. He brought along more of our stuff from the old place, and he and Kathleen started moving it in. What I didn't really take note of at the time was how they had left all the doors to the apartment (leading outside) wide open so it would be easier for them to move heavy objects into the building. After they finished, and Kathleen left, Shawn and I noticed that Ed was MIA. At first, I figured that she had just found a new hiding place between all the boxes, or in the cabinets. (I discovered Ed could open all the cabinets herself that morning.) After searching every corner of the apartment for a few minutes with absolutely no luck, I started to get that panicky feeling inside.
Ed. Was missing.
I then pointed out to Shawn, who was very calm, that all the doors in the apartment had been left open. I started to think. "What if she decided to explore and ran outside?" The idea seemed unlikely at the time since Ed is afraid of everything, but we were out of ideas. We started to search our apartment building and then the grounds around our building outside. After 25 minutes (during which the cable guy decided to show up), there was still no sign of Ed. I called Mom and asked her for ideas since she had been in this situation many times in the past. (She's taken in over 200 lost and stray cats during her life.) She helped me remain calm and made sure I followed her instructions to check all the bushes and small hiding spots, and then to talk to everyone I came across to ask them if they had seen a black and white kitty with a black dot on her nose. (-__-)
An hour passed. Still no Ed. By that time, Mom, Beth, Kathleen, AND Jeremy were on their way to help us out with the search. Shawn had to stay inside with the cable guy so I was mostly doing the searching at first. They arrived and we spread out, searching not only my whole apartment complex's neighborhood, but also the surrounding neighborhoods. We double and triple checked both the outside apartment grounds and my apartment, the whole time calling, "Eeeed! Come here, honey! Come on, come out, sweetie!" Something just wasn't sitting well with me; Ed is afraid of everything and doesn't even come out of hiding when there's a lot of commotion (like people moving stuff into the apartment) around her. There's no way she would go anywhere near our apartment door with Shawn and Kathleen moving stuff in. I kept checking my apartment periodically, because I kept thinking that she could still be inside, laughing it up while all of us looked for her. Everyone else did the same thing.
Four more hours went by. It was over 90 degrees outside with no trace of Ed, or even a cool breeze to keep us somewhat sane. By that time, Beth and I decided to take a break. We headed into my apartment and sat on the floor and talked about Ed. Something still didn't feel right about the whole situation. After about fifteen minutes, I heard a shuffle from the next room. I figured it might be Isis, or just my imagination. And then it happened.
Ed walked out of the kitchen, sat down right in front of Beth and me, and acknowledged us with a yawn.
I screamed, "ED!" and ran over to her, throwing my arms around her big (she's quite huge) neck. I picked her up and swung her around while Beth laughed and ran over to us. After everything all of us had been through-- the worry, the panic, the dehydration-- Ed had been inside, in a very secret hiding place, the entire time!
Beth and I followed her back to her hiding place a few minutes later. As it turns out, Ed had opened the cabinet door under the sink and crawled into a hole in the wall that was barely seeable to the human eye. How in the world did a cat of her size get into that hole in the wall? No idea. At that point, I didn't even care: Ed was back and she was safe. That "little" trickster got the best of ALL of us.
I first started playing Pet Society on Facebook about four or five months ago. I was bored one night, and I remembered how Celena had urged me to start playing even months before then. So I hopped on Facebook, thinking that I would just check out the new game. After five minutes of playing around with designing my own pet, I was hooked.
A little while after that, my pet Tea Leaf was born. (Actually, it may have been a long while since I couldn't decide what I wanted my pet to look like.) Tea Leaf's resemblance to Yukimo and Fru, my past and present hamsters, was no mere coincidence. I wanted to have a virtual, pixelated representation of my love for white hammies online. Pet Society provided me with the perfect opportunity! ^___^ Everything about Tea Leaf reminds me of my hammies-- ahh, such love! I will admit that I went through an "adjustment period" where I kept changing the way Tea Leaf looked, but I eventually settled on the way she appears above.
Once I was happy with my pet, I moved onto other important business: designing my pet's house. I wanted to kick myself for not starting to play Pet Society a few months earlier, because I missed out on some great items. Thanks to some really close friends, I was gifted a lot of the kawaii items I now own. <3 These past couple of months have given me the chance to accumulate a ton of house items, as seen in the screen shots below.
My house currently has seven rooms, but these three rooms are the most developed ones at the moment. The first image displays Tea Leaf's main playroom-- hence, all the plushies! The second image shows Tea Leaf's bedroom (pink, of course). And the third image shows the kitchen. I'd still like to do a little more remodeling with the kitchen in the future, but I'm satisfied with its current appearance for now.
As I've mentioned on other online communities, I am very particular about how I do things on Pet Society. For example, while Tea Leaf's appearance changes from time to time, I'm extremely critical of what she wears. I usually don't like throwing together set items (since everyone else always does that; I like to stand out), so I like to coordinate items in different ways-- like according to color and/or theme. Also, I don't get every single new item that comes out. I mostly just buy things that appeal to me at first glance. Once I'm happy with more rooms, I may start buying items that will increase in value so I can start trading for rarer kawaii items. ^___^
All in all, I highly recommend playing Pet Society. It's available on both MySpace and Facebook, although I, myself, prefer using it on Facebook. It's a great way to socialize online; there are amazingly cute pets to make and play with; and there are new things (items, stores, etc.) released all the time.
In other Facebook news, I would like to introduce my new URL. Recently, Facebook allowed its users to create usernames for their accounts. I was going to go with my actual name, but after thinking about it, I realized that my name would be changing once I'm married. (Facebook isn't allowing people to change their URLs after the confirmation step.) Anyway, I went with the following URL:
There was a specific reason I chose this name, and I'll talk about that some other time! ^__~
As I mentioned in my last post, the last major expense I made was a new sister for Elspeth, my Latidoll. After a long wait (a little over two months), Lati finally sent me the last item I needed to complete my new doll. Honey Tree is a Lati (Yellow line) White Skin Vampire Mystic Miel.
Honey Tree's doll model type is extremely rare and I am very, very lucky to have her. I originally saw the Vampire Mystic Miel in a few of my friends' photostreams on Flickr and I fell in love. Her pale skin and pink blushing on her cheeks, chin, and ears makes her my absolute dream doll. When I first saw her, the bright pink eyeliner made my jaw drop. Squee! ^o^
I was lucky enough to contact the right person when trying to find the doll and have her put me in touch with one of her friends who was interested in selling the doll head. After a lot messaging, we settled on a price. (Honey Tree, by far, is the most expensive doll I own. It looks like her price will only be increasing from here because of her rarity. Shawn paid for most of her as an engagement present back when he proposed to me. ^__^) It was then up to me to find a Lati renewal body (white skin) to complete Honey Tree. I tried to find someone willing to part with an extra renewal body she might have laying around, but I had no luck. As a last resort, I ordered directly from Lati-- I paid a lot of money, but knowing that my doll was going to be complete gave me that extra push to go through with it!
Then, just last week, the package arrived and I was able to complete Honey Tree. Previous to her completion, I had a few months to think up the perfect name for her. At first, I wanted to go with something dramatic to emphasize her vampire-ness. Then I realized that I wanted to make her my own. So many other people had named their Lati vampires after pop culture and historical icons-- I wanted to do something different. Instead, I chose to highlight my doll's sweet and innocent characteristics. After all, how many vampires are known for their deliciously sweet nature?
Honey Tree was named after a group called The Honey Trees; they create haunting and beautifully sweet music and lyrics. Honey Tree herself is sweet to the core and would never hurt a fly. Unlike popular belief in vampire mythology, she only eats and drinks candied foods, made of sweet nectars and sugars.
Note: No, I am not a Twilight fan.
Shawn and I have been trying to take it easy with our spending lately, especially with our plans to move into a new apartment next month. That said, the doll and toy collecting part of my life has slowed a little. Instead, I've been concentrating more on the things I already have.
Example A would be Elspeth. ^__^ She first joined my family around this time last year, and ever since then, she's been through a big transformation. A friend of mine offered to redo Elspeth's faceup with pink tones instead of her original peach colored tones. Because of her new colors, her wardrobe has taken on more pastels, like pinks and greens. I love her more now than ever.
I've been selling off a few of my other dolls so I don't have to feel too much pressure with money. So far, my one Pullip and a rare Blythe (Lamb) have been sold. I'm also in the process of selling my very first Lati, Laramie, to Mom. The money from those sales is being saved carefully, and a little of it is going towards smaller, less expensive, parts of my collecting. ^^
The last major expense I made on dolls was for a new sister for Elspeth. <3 With Shawn's help, I was able to buy a Lati dream doll a few months ago, one that is not yet complete. Once I complete her, I will be posting tons of photos!
I'm staying at the house for a few days because Shawn said he'd be busy working on some projects for work over the weekend. I thought it might be nice to spend some time with Mom. Whenever I wake up in the morning, there's this awesome nostalgic feeling of summer. It brings back good memories and makes everything seem simple and happy.
Even when I'm at my apartment, alone during the day, I've been experiencing sudden bursts of happiness. It's so weird! I've been trying to limit my time on the computer and watching TV, because I really want to start doing something more for myself lately. I've been feeling the need to enhance everything that I love doing, meaning that I'm focusing more on painting, photography, and spending time with my furries (kitties + hammy). Doing so has led me to some relaxing, more peaceful, days. I'm not really feeling that stress of needing to find work, which is such a relief now. I figured that I need to work on getting in the right mindset before I jump into the next phase of my life; after all, for the past 20+ years I've been in school working hard. It's time to let loose.
In photography aspects, I've been trying to work more on getting to know my camera better. I found that, after a while, I fell into such a routine with my camera that I didn't really explore all of the fun settings. I think my little experimentations have led to better, clearer photos, like the one above. (Yays!)
Also, on the photography home front, I've been trying to expand my photo subjects. I fell into a rut with that when I only took photos of Plum and a few other toys/dolls. I'm trying to appreciate everything else that I'm surrounded by, including other Blythes (like Utopia and Nami above!) and other little finds that I've been taking in.
This Alice necklace is one of my favorite recent finds to photograph. ^__^ Last weekend, I went on a little trip to Chicago with Shawn, Jeremy, and Kathleen. We went to one of my favorite urban toy stores, Rotofugi, and I picked up a lot of cute vinyls and a special art book signed by a favorite artist of mine. Then the three of us met up with another favorite artist of mine, Jeremiah Ketner, after Rotofugi-- we visited his studio (where I saw all of the amazing pieces he's currently working on) and went out to lunch with him.
Afterwards, Jeremiah suggested a bunch of cute stores that he knew I'd love to explore. In one of the little boutiques, I discovered the Alice pendant. I'm obsessed with everything and anything Alice in Wonderland, so I snatched it up. Later on, I went across the street where I had a chain made and fitted for me. I think the heart clasp (bottom right picture) is one of my favorite parts. Putting the necklace together was so much fun!
On an earlier trip to Chicago (April 10th), I was able to attend my very first Blythe meet. After six or so years of collecting them, I thought it was about time that I finally met more people who share the same hobby. ^^
We met up at a cute sushi bar (with really good fruit smoothies) and talked about Blythes the whole time. Because of other plans Shawn and I had in Chicago that day, I was only able to bring Plum (bottom row, fourth from the left). She was able to meet another Kozy Blythe, finally! Overall, the turnout was great and I was even able to meet Gina Garan, a very well known Blythe collector. In fact, it's because of Gina that Blythes exist today! It was such an honor to talk about Blythes, and tons of other stuff, with her.
So really, my "work" right now consists of working on myself and my life. I'm expanding every type of personal horizon possible, including my physical self. ^___^ I've been working hard at exercising daily so that I stay in shape. I'm feeling fit in every aspect possible!
After I wrap up this post, I'll continue to sit back in my parents' kitchen where the back door leading to the deck is open. The summer breeze is blowing in while I sip on my cinnamon white chocolate latte. Life is good.
I'm currently waiting for a nice day (meaning, good weather) to come along so I can have a nice photoshoot with Shawn outside. I'm looking forward to having more official engagement photos! ^__^ Until then, I thought I'd just stop in and say... "Herro!"
I've been trying to enjoy my time off from all work forms lately, and I've also been sending my resume out like crazy. Sadly, I haven't had any luck on the job front yet. Most of my time is "down time" and I've been trying to keep myself busy with little projects-- like painting, reading, taking photos, spending time with my favorite people, etc. I've also had the privilege of attending some really great events (an artist gallery and my first Blythe doll meet), more of which I hope to talk about in future posts.
I've been trying to enjoy my time off from all work forms lately, and I've also been sending my resume out like crazy. Sadly, I haven't had any luck on the job front yet. Most of my time is "down time" and I've been trying to keep myself busy with little projects-- like painting, reading, taking photos, spending time with my favorite people, etc. I've also had the privilege of attending some really great events (an artist gallery and my first Blythe doll meet), more of which I hope to talk about in future posts.
Like I mentioned on Flickr and Facebook, this necklace has special sister meaning to me. Beth and I often pick out the same, or similar, pieces of jewelry or clothing to buy. (After all, we are the same person.) Other than my engagement ring, it's the only piece of jewelry I wear every day.
Shawn proposed today: March 13, 2009.
More details to come in the next few days. ^__^
And yes, I have a Hello Kitty engagement ring!
I know, I know. Fru looks a lot like Yukimo. What's a girl to do when she falls in love with a new hammy, even though it looks like a previous hammy? Get the hammy anyway, that's what. ^__^ Needless to say, Fru was my fate... Here's her story.
After Yukimo passed away, I was devastated. It was difficult getting myself up in the morning because all I could think about was how Yuki was no longer at my side. She was always the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the first sweetie I would talk to during the day. While Shawn was at work one day, I started texting him to get out some of the emotions that were going through me. He felt so bad for me... He suggested that we consider getting a new hammy. When Shawn first said that, I didn't know what to think. A new hammy would feel like I would be replacing Yukimo, and I didn't want to have her replaced so easily. Even Mom suggested that I not get a new hamster after Yuki because it would be time to focus fully on Ed and Isis instead. After all, I had wanted kitties my entire life; I should be grateful for them. But something just didn't feel right in my life. I had become a true hammy lover.
Later that day, just two days after Yukimo passed away, Shawn and I went to the same pet store where we got Yuki. I wasn't really planning to get a hamster that day-- it still seemed way too soon. But fate stepped in and showed me that a new hammy was an absolute must in my life. It was time to move on.
Shawn and I walked into the room where the hamster cages were kept. Slowly, I walked across the wall that was full of furries. <3 Peaking inside the cages, I tried to locate at least one hammy, but they all seemed to be buried deep underneath the woodchips. Finally, when I came up to one cage, I saw her. As I walked closer and put my head near her cage, a little white, furry head poked up. She blinked. I got so happy to finally find a hammy in this horrible mess of a haystack, so I waved my finger at her and smiled. As soon as I waved my finger, she put her hand up to where I was-- just one hand at first, so little and so friendly, as if to say "Hi there!" I got even more excited so I continued to wave. And when I did that, she put her other hand up to the cage to try to get closer to me. I wanted to cry.
My heart was immediately stolen, and I was almost near tears. I looked at Shawn and said, "I think we have to hold her now." Shawn agreed and went to get an employee so we could have him take the hammy out of the cage. Holding the hammy for the first time was one of the best experiences of my life. Unlike other hamsters, this hammy was thoughtful; she moved slowly to inspect everything she touched. She was so curious about me, and I loved it. After holding her, I knew that fate had matched us up.
I named my new hammy Sukifru. I know that it's a lot like Yukimo, but that was completely accidental in the naming process. I wanted to use the same naming process, but I also wanted Fru to have her own identity. "Suki" means "love" in Japanese, and "fru" is short for "fructose." So when the name is broken down, her name is "love sugar." (After all, she does look like a big lump of sugar. ^___^) Shawn and I call her Fru for short to help us avoid calling her something too close to Yuki's name.
While Fru may be a white dwarf like Yuki was, she's a completely different being. In fact, it's amazing how different the two hammies are from each other. Not only are Fru's movements the opposite of how Yuki would move, but her mannerisms and habits are crazy-different. Some things that I've come to totally adore about Fru are:
- Fru likes to tunnel like crazy. Sometimes she forgets where certain tunnels are in her woodchips, so she accidentally falls into them and looks confused.
- Fru is super chubby. When she stands on her two legs and brings her two upper hands close to her, she looks like a big, round fluffball. O__O
- Fru squeaks when she sleeps. Sometimes it'll just be one random squeak, but other times involve a long string of squeaks. ^o^
- Fru loves running around in her ball. If she doesn't get enough ball time, she starts to get antsy and begs to come out of the cage. When she's in the ball, she has the habit of following Shawn around the apartment. Wherever he is, she finds him.
- Fru demands attention when I'm sleeping. She bites her cage bars and scratches the roof of her towers so she can come out and explore. Once I take her out, she calmly likes to explore her surroundings.
There's so much to learn about Fru. I've only had her for a few months now, but I'm so in love with her. And my fear of "replacing Yuki" isn't something I ever worry about now. Fru is just a new member of the family, someone to keep me company and love every day she's with me.
Note: Fru's fur is actually all white with a few touches of black around her ears and eyes. The reason her fur looks slightly brown in these photos is because she did a lot of tunneling in her cage before my photoshoot. She was completely covered in woodchip dust!
Note: This post is long overdue, and I apologize to all of my Vox friends for taking so long to update my blog. In all honesty, I attempted to create several posts in these past few months, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. After reading the following paragraphs, I think you'll understand why.
After Yukimo passed away, a string of events occurred in my life that ended up making this year one of the worst years of my life. I fell in and out of small depressions for a few months and I'm still getting over some of the things that happened. I originally planned to go into great detail about this year's happenings, but it's really too hard to bring up all of the emotions that I've faced, so instead, I'm going to sum everything up into a small post.
This was my life for the last half of 2008:
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Yuki passed away at the end of September.
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I lost my job in November.
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I had to have emergency surgery in December due to having appendicitis.
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My chance for unemployment is "under investigation," even though I fully deserve to get it. Financial stress has kicked in.
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I had to deal with the consequences of everything and somehow get myself to graduate by the middle of December.
While I know that many other people have probably had to endure far worse than I've gone through, the harsh reality of all this... devastated me. Here's the thing: I had a plan. I had a solid, fullproof plan for the end of this year and the following few years. I was going to graduate and then not have to worry about classes ever again. I was going to have a secure job that I loved. I was going to finally, finally, be somewhere in my life that was stress-free. Instead, the universe decided to turn its back on me and flick me off.
Honestly though, I'm not angry with anyone. Six Apart is an amazing company and I fully understand its reasoning for cutting back. I still love the company in so many ways; I just need some time to heal from that experience (which is part of the reason why it's been so hard to come back to Vox). The economy sucks right now and that's a reality I've learned firsthand. Now I'm dealing with the financial repercussions... It's hard, and I'm starting to panic a little more every day. Shawn has been trying to relieve my stress and he's been handling the bills. Thank goodness for him-- he's been here with me for everything.
My body decided it couldn't handle the stress of Yukimo and losing my job so my appendix decided it was time to head out. I had never in my life went through surgery before, but considering everything that had happened, I guess it was bound to happen. It was one of the scariest and most painful experiences of my life. Again, it was another reality that I had to face.
I'm just bitter with life right now. I don't think I've ever done anything to purposefully harm someone else, but this feels like a punishment. I still wake up and go to bed thinking that I'm being punished for some unknown reason. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and I should probably be thankful for that. In fact, I'm trying to be. But after being emotionally and then physically beaten up by the universe, I'm tired of trying to understand why everything happened to me. I'm so aware of what's going on around me right now, as if preparing for the next bad thing to happen, that I don't think I'm fully enjoying what time I have to myself.
I'll be searching for a new place of employment in January. After the surgery a few weeks ago, I just didn't have the heart (or strength) to find a job. I'm hoping that this little time off from work and school (since I did graduate, finally) will give me a chance to recuperate. And again-- that's just a hope right now.
On Tuesday, September 23, 2008, Yukimo passed away. After two perfect years of friendship and companionship, it was just... her time to leave.
On that particular Tuesday, the both of us had woken up on a pretty, sunny morning. Although Yuki had become weaker because of her old age, she didn't show any signs of illness that day. As I was wrapping up work and getting ready for my night class around 4:30 in the afternoon, I noticed that she had become extremely slow when walking around the cage. Within just an hour, I realized that she wasn't going to make it.
Her passing is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Honestly, I don't know how to bring up the courage to write this post... which is one reason why I had to wait a month to announce her passing. Shawn and I went through an extremely emotional period, but I have to say this: Yukimo, whether healthy or sick, was just amazing.
In early August, I had woken up on a Saturday morning to find that she had suffered from what looked to be a stroke and something happening with a tumor during the night. The shock hit so badly that I couldn't eat for the next few days and almost ended up in the emergency room. I had never felt that much pain before, both emotionally and physically. Yukimo meant everything to me. Somehow-- through some miracle-- Yukimo came back to me for an extra month and a half after that horrible happening. Even though she had lost half of her blood in those few days, I was able to nurse her back to health by feeding her and giving her water and juice by hand. After two weeks of hand-feeding her, she was back to her old self. I was in another state of shock-- a good one though. Seeing her run so fiercly in that wheel for those extra weeks was the best gift I could have ever hoped for.
So when September 23rd came around, the shock wasn't as big as the first time. I had been preparing myself for letting Yuki go... but it still hurt so much. The pain is still unbearable and I sometimes have to take a breather from whatever I'm doing to calm down and try to remember what good times I had with her. I guess this post is just another step towards moving on. I loved, and still love, Yukimo. I always will. Like I've told so many people: Yukimo wasn't just a best friend to me; she was my companion. She was with me every second of the day when I was at home, and I miss her so much.
To commemorate Yukimo and the time we had together, I'm posting the first video I ever took of her (back in 2006). In it, I'm introducing Yuki to Mom and Kathleen (since Beth and I were away at college). It's the first visual aid I have of Yukimo.
In memory of Yukimo, September 2006 - September 2008.
