3 posts tagged “college”
One of my last semesters in college is almost over with, and I feel pretty happy with finally being able to, as Mom keeps saying, "see the light at the end of the tunnel." I think her optimism is in the family blood; I'm feeling more confident that, yes, graduation is possible. Senioritis hit me about two years ago, and it hit even harder last semester when I had to learn how to juggle my job with my classes. This semester seems a little less stressful, but I'll be just as happy to get it over with as I did in the winter.
As graduation draws nearer, my plans for life are falling into place. (It seems vague to say "life," but I'm learning to deal with how plans for the future are pretty vague most of the time anyway.)
My very last semester of college will consist of three English classes, all of which I have charted out at this point. My summer is going to be taken up by working more full-time hours again, and I'm hoping to turn part of my hours into an internship that's required for my English major. Turning a few hours into the internship will save me a lot of stress during the school year. In fact, I was worried I would have to somehow drop something in order to fit the internship in, but it looks like everything is working out for the best after all!
The best part about this whole working hard thing is planning for what I want to do after graduation. Shawn and I are currently working (and saving money for) an apartment for in a few months. Since Kathleen will be coming to live with Beth when she starts going to our university, Shawn and I decided it would be best if we started to branch off into our own little world. A few years ago, I would have thought moving in with a boyfriend was a big step, probably because of all the hype from silly TV shows and dramas. Honestly though, I've learned that a step like that can be simple if a couple is ready for it and really wants to progress in a relationship. This September will mark my six year anniversary with Shawn so planning for the future isn't just a plan; it's what I've been working towards for a good chunk of my life.
Shawn told me something that meant a lot to me the other day. Now, I'm not the one for mushy statements. We were standing in the kitchen making dinner together a few weeks ago, and we had been discussing something about his job. I think he was complaining about a few assignments he was given to do, so I turned to him and asked how he could put up with some of the tasks that his everyday job demanded of him. He turned to me and said, "Well, I do it for you. Actually, everything I do is for you." Hearing that made my mind wind back to a few years ago when he told me that if we hadn't started dating, he would have joined the army. He felt that he didn't have anything else to do in life so he thought he would try to look for meaning in some other form of work. Something like that didn't seem so profound to me until I casually told Mom about it during one of our conversations. She told me that a guy telling his girlfriend that says that he's living for that girl. And it's true. Shawn letting go of certain things in his life and choosing to work an office job would have never happened if we hadn't started dating. He's chosen to live his life with me, and everything he does-- from running to the store for soda because I have a caffeine headache to keeping a desk job and working long hours-- is for me.
I've thought about what Shawn has done for me a lot. So now, I feel like I have a reason for graduating and working towards finishing college. Even with all this busy work going on now, at least I know that something good is coming out of all of this. After we stay at our apartment for about six months (so until I graduate), we're going to be finding a really nice apartment and then save up for a house. Jokingly one day, we started to look at house ads online. After we browsed some beautiful homes, I realized that a beautiful home in a safe neighborhood is something that I do want to work for, even if it means working this hard. Who knew a future was possible? I didn't, until recently.
And sometime after we graduate, and some more time after we live together, we'll decide to take the next step. Marriage is an idea that many, many people have asked us about over the years. In fact, I think everyone else is eager to hear about a wedding announcement from us, but we've just decided to take things easy-- one step at a time. We're planning though, and we've found that confidence in our relationship is our marriage to each other. An official engagement will come in time. For now, all I need is this pretty amazing reality we're facing together. It's a pretty damn good reason to keep working and living.
And that's pretty much where I'm at right now...
This entry is dedicated to the questions that I'm most frequently asked in comments and private messages here at Vox. I figured that I'd compile all of the questions and answers together in one entry. This entry can then be used as a reference tool for any others that are curious about my life. To those who have asked, I hope this helps! I'll be adding more questions and answers as they arise. If anyone asks a question that has already been answered, I'll most likely give them the link to this post. ^_^
1. What camera do you use for all the photos you take?
All of the photos you see in my Vox are taken by me, with the exception of a few (that I note are taken by my sister). I've used three cameras to take my pictures, one that belongs to my whole family (that I have taken over, one that belongs to my sister, Beth, and a new one that belongs to only me. My new camera, an Olympus C-7070 is a dream. I received it at the beginning of 2007 and have been using it for my photography ever since then. So, the photos you see starting in January 2007 are most likely ones that are taking with my Olympus (which I've named Enzo). My family camera is a Canon Digital Elph, SD100. It only has 3.2 megapixels, yet the clarity of the pictures it produces is pretty amazing. I mostly used that one previous to 2007. Another reason my photos turn out so clear is because I use Photoshop to edit them. I think Photoshop is necessary to get the results that meet my personal demands.
I may use Beth's camera (another Olympus) from time to time, but very rarely. Now that I have Enzo, I have no need to borrow hers. Beth and I usually use our cameras for photoshoots between the two of us, and I've also used her camera to take photos of my Blythe dolls from time to time.
2. So, what's with the dolls? Aren't they for, like, little kids?
Good question. I know that a lot of people have "concerns" for anyone that may step outside of the norm of adulthood, especially when toys are concerned. I think I'm a good example of a certain revolution that's taking place right now: The Urban Toys and Low Brow Art Revolution. I like to be different. I like the fact that most people I come across are shocked that a 21 year-old is obsessed with dolls and other toys. I use this to fuel me to be even more different and, in a way, outrageous. The thing is: the doll obsession is only weird if you live in the United States. It's accepted in places like Asia and Europe a lot more than it is in the states. In fact, if anything, the people within the states are outside the norm because they don't accept those who show an interest. That's not a bad thing-- it's just how life is.
I mostly collect Blythe dolls. Over the years that I've been collecting, I've had up to eleven girls at a time. I've sold and traded many of my Blythes over the time. I just haven't bonded with most of them. The ones I have bonded with remain with me at either my apartment or my house. Blythe dolls were originally made in the United States in 1972 but then failed to publicly lauch well. They were taken off the market for thirty years and then remade in 2001. Most of them are very pricey; they can range anywhere from $70-4000. I have never lost money when letting a girl go. In fact, I've only made profit because of them.
I don't think of my collecting Blythes as a money-making scheme. They're very real to me and I revolve my life around them to a crazy extent. Right now, I have seven girls: Poe (MRB), Gemma (custom SVB), Utopia (SM), Emilie (FT), Plum (Kozy), Pigeon (custom SS), and Nami (custom SM). Right now, I'm down to my core family of Blythes and I don't plan on letting any of them go. More information on Blythes can be found at these websites:Other toys that I've been known to collect are:
Other toys that I've been known to collect are: urban vinyl figures (including Dunnys, Tokidoki figures and Mad*Ls), Pinky Street figures, and anything kawaii related.
3. What nationality/ethnicity are you?
From all the photos I post of myself, I know that this question has come up a few times. I mean, am I Asian? Am I Spanish? What's going on here?
I'm actually half Filipino and half Polish. .tiff. was kind enough to let me know that the mix of culture and ethnicities makes me a hapa child. (I love that term!) My dad was born and raised in the Philippines and then came to the states for his residency. It was in the states that he met my mom. It's been difficult being raised by parents who rushed into marriage and then have to work to "share" the two differect cultures and lifestyles. I've learned that I have to depend on myself to define who I am, not my background, not my ethnicities. So now you know why I look Asian and why I look... something else!
On a side note: I know that I tend to look sixteen or seventeen-- nowhere near 22. I think that my mom's good genes and the fact that I'm part Asian attributes to the whole young look. Plus, I don't smoke, drink or fake-bake so I'm not getting those early-aged wrinkles and tight skin. So keep in mind that I'm not a little kid, haha.
4. So what are you majoring in?
I'm majoring in English and minoring in Comparative Literature. I switched my major from Journalism to English my Sophomore year of college and then transferred colleges. The majors change and the transfer hit me hard when it came to when I would graduate, so I'll most likely be in college for an extra year.
One thing you should know about me is that I need creativity. I live and breathe originality and aesthetics. Although I would have loved to involve art (painting, drawing, etc.) into my career, I just didn't think that I'd be able to make it in that art field in college. I've taken my art classes over the years in order to maintain a connection to the artistic world. I plan on keeping it as a heavy hobby. Since art would be difficult, I leaned towards my other artisitc passion: writing. Writing has always come easily and with love throughout the years. I have no idea what I'm going to do with English as a major, but I'm sure that I won't regret improving my writing and reading amazing books along the way.
5. Wait, why aren't you going into graphic design or something like that?
I wish I were. I really do. I just don't have the background to go through with finding a job with computers and graphic programs. I use Photoshop (and now Illustrator) for fun in my down time, but I think that making a career out of designing fun graphics would somehow ruin my passion for creating them. I think I have the creativity and drive in me to go through with a career with graphics, but for right now, I have to focus my attention on my major.
6. What's with the bracelets? They're always on you in your pictures. Any reason why?
Jen actually brought this to my attention in one of the last photos I posted of myself. These bracelets do have a very special meaning to me, actually. (Good eye, Jen!) Right now, I have five bracelets. They were all made by my wonderful Shawn over the past few years. He usually gives me one when we have an anniversary or special day. They don't exactly mark that day in particular, but instead, they let me remember how wonderful of a life I have with Shawn. I'm very lucky compared to a lot of people I know. I don't need anything store-bought; these bracelets, handmade, old and perfect, represent everything Shawn and I are together. They're real. I also never take them off. Once they're on, they're on. Some people may find that "disgusting," but I keep them clean and take good care of them.
7. How long have you been dating Shawn?
Shawn and I have been together for over four years now. A lot of people I come across find this amazing, considering our age. We're both 21; our birthdays are only four days apart from each other. (I'm older! Ha.) We first met in high school during our Freshman year and became best friends there. We were in several classes together, which made it easy for us to get to know each other. The first time we ever talked was because of a project we were both assigned to. I had been sick the day that the projects were assigned, so when I came to school the next day, the teacher let me pick which group I wanted to be in. Of course, being the geek I was born to be, I didn't take a look at the groups, but instead, I looked at the books that were available. (I've always been a bookworm.) I didn't know it at the time but I had picked the only group that was all guys. What does that mean? That means that I would have to be the ringleader and do most of the work. Well, little did I know that my future boyfriend (no, not Shawn) and my other future boyfriend (yes, Shawn) were both in that group. That's when I met him and that's how we first started talking. Little did I know that Shawn had a huge crush on me. I was obsessed with him. The shared feelings didn't come out until over a year later, but by that time, I wanted independence. It would take three years after that first year for Shawn and me to begin dating.
Shawn and I have had ups and downs throughout our relationship, but unlike other relationships that we've come across with friends, ours is extremely solid. We have a set understanding between us for almost every problem that could possibly strike us. Even if we don't have something planned out, our levelheadedness enables us to pretty much endure any type of trouble that comes our way. My mom said it best: "You two have a very unusual relationship. There's no one else like Shawn out there. He's so special, Lauren. What you have is real." I never let these thoughts go. I know that I will marry Shawn one day. It's a fact. It's a given. It's a dream of mine.
I think that because of our relationship, I've grown to be somewhat haughty towards other people in relationships. It's a vice of mine that I'd one day like to rid myself of because I have a very pessimistic outlook towards other people in relationships. I've seen the mistakes that people make and I see the mistakes that they're making now. Because of this, I have an innate sense of who will last and who will end. I plan on using what I've learned in my relationship with Shawn and what I've learned from others to make a website offering advice to those in need of it. Hopefully, I can share my thoughts about love and life and get some sort of sense knocked into those that are lacking the sense in the first place.
See? Haughtiness.
8. Is Beth your friend, your roommate or your sister? Oh wait, are you twins?
I giggle everytime I hear this because, to me, it's obvious. I know, however, that I never really talk about my relationship with Beth in a straight-out fashion. So here it is: Beth and I are sisters. I'm older by 20 months but many people assume that Beth is the older one because of her height and because of the way she carries herself. I've been known to be the immature one in the past, but I think that our levels of maturity are now matched, just in different ways. Beth and I are extremely close. In fact, we're most likely closer than most twins can get because of the way we were brought up. We didn't have a lot of friends growing up so we tended to depend on each other for moral support as well as every other factor a kid needs to have. She knows me better than any other person and I can't see that changing. Beth says it best: "We have the same mind. We aren't two people; we're one person."
And what about that other sister of mine? Kathleen is a lot younger than Beth and me. She's five to six years younger than me, which is a huge difference. Recently, reality hit and I realized that her maturity is higher than most of my friends. We've grown closer because I've acknowledged what an amazing little person she's become. Even though Kathleen and I didn't bond the same way Beth and I did when we were growing up, I think our relationship is growing more so right now. I love my little Poofer.
9. Can/will you make a Vox banner for me?
I'd love to make a banner for you! I do have a few requests myself though. If you would like a banner made, please:
- Have an idea of what you would like done in mind, so when you message/email me, I'll be able to have an easier time gathering ideas of what should be done in order to make the banner just right for you. After all, I want to personalize it to your liking as much as possible. ^_^
- Have photos/images/graphics that I can use for the banner. If you don't, I might be able to take photos for the banner myself. Just make sure you specify what you would like.
- Be patient. I'm a full-time college student right now, and my first priority is my studies. I can usually complete a banner within a week's time, but sometimes I may take longer. I usually message you to give you updates as I make progress, just so you don't think I've forgotten about you!
- Allow me to give myself credit on the banner. I only use a small line of text (© kawaii.vox.com). I trust that you will honor this wish, mainly because I don't want other people to come across the banner, steal it, and then claim it as their own work.
And that's it! I appreciate any interest show in my work, and it's always a pleasure to make others happy here at Vox.
10. You don't have your driver's license? Why?
This question not only pops up here at Vox, but in my daily life when I interact with "real, live people," too. I took a driver's ed course back in high school during the same time when all of my friends were taking the course. My friend approached me with a different driving course, one that was offered by the Sears Department Store at our mall. I thought that would be more fun than having to go through my school.
Well, I had some bad experiences in that course. A few classes in, my friend, who initially presented the idea of taking the course to me, dropped out because of a school sport she was in. By then, I was left with strangers and a crazy driving instructor. That driving instructor scarred me for life. He disregarded everything I said about not having any experience behind the wheel. On the first day out, he threw me into the middle of a busy highway and expected me to just "get the hang of it." I'm still alive-- I'll say that much.
Ever since that course, I have had a fear of driving. I haven't had any huge problems with getting from place to place though. Beth and Shawn are always willing to help me get somewhere if I absolutely need to go. I usually walk to places instead of driving, which makes me believe that I'm actually benefiting not only myself, but the planet as well. I'll probably get it one day after I gain a little more confidence in that area of my life, but for now, I'm perfectly happy not having a license. I just don't like it when people push the idea on me. It's a fear of mine. I would never want to push a fear on anyone I care about, so I expect people to respect me just the same. <3
11. How can I reach you? Do you mind if I message you?
Because of my relaxed schedule, I'm online a lot. There are several ways you can reach me.
- IM me on AIM (gimme dollies)
- Email me (milkeyes@gmail.com)
- Facebook me
- Add me on Flickr (milkdoll)
- Add me on Twitter (milks)
- Private message me here on Vox (kawaii)
- Private message me on the forums: TIB (porcelain), PS (porcelain)
If you only know me through the internet, then I'll most likely not give out my address, phone number or any other piece of personal information. I need my privacy and I expect all my online friends to understand that. I love, love, love talking with new people (and old friends) on AIM, just as long as you respect me and what I have to say in my journal. If I'm ever curt or answer slowly, it's only because I'm working on something else at the time. Never take what I do or say too personally. ^_^
Edits made:
121106 Flickr contact ADDED
121106 Is Beth your friend, your roommate or your sister? Oh wait, are you twins? ADDED
010307 Age changed from 21 to 22 ALTERED
013007 Camera usage information ALTERED
Can/will you make a Vox banner for me? ADDED
050507 You don't have your driver's license? Why? ADDED
071207 Twitter contact ADDED
I've fallen into a good routine for everyday life. Even if that means that certain assignments for my classes are rushed or cramped with other chores, at least I have my sanity. Sanity is a big issue with me, especially in the past few years. When I refer to "sanity," I'm not talking about asylum-crazy; I'm referring to the inner sanctum of a person-- in this case, me. It's not that I physically go out of my mind but my mind shuts itself down and goes into a temporary hibernation period of about two weeks to two months. The worst is the summertime, which is probably one reason I look forward to Autumn and Winter so much. The summertime provides too much time to think and too much sun to bear down on whatever I'm facing at the time. The winter though... that's my time to shine. I like the gloomy days (although they've proven to be quite the enemy with photography) and the ever-present snow. It's not only beautiful but it's mine. I've always claimed Winter as my own. That won't change.
I won't get into the details in a public post because there are real life crazies out there who, I'm sure, know me personally like to track people they know down just for the fun of it. I won't let my personal information get wrapped up in that long grapevine that has entangled quite a few people I know. Instead, I'll just say that I've made some pretty life-altering decisions lately about the next few years of my life and I intend to go through with them. Most of them spurred from family problems, problems that I will have nothing to do with once I'm finished with college. If I could, I'd drop out and do it now but, please, I'm not that insane. I know what I'm doing enough to realize how important it will be in the future to have my degree and background for jobs. Without it, I don't think I'd go anywhere. That comment is not intended to knock any people who haven't gone to college-- I respect those who are successful and/or happy with their lives. I've known several adults during my life who never went to get more of an education after high school and, god, that's just amazing. Kudos and love to you.
Ah yes, and now for Plum... I've been dying to get her a new Autumn/Winter wardrobe but I honestly have no money right now (stemming from those freaking family issues) so that means her new clothes will have to be put on hold. I've been mixing and matching all her old clothes to make new outfits and that's good enough for now. I took advantage of the one sunny day there was all week and took some photos of her. I think the one in this post is my favorite of the bunch. Shawn really seemed to like the outfit she has on. With my huge Christmas list still out there, hopefully getting smaller as people buy stuff (haha), I think that a new sister might possibly be gracing our presence in December. Then again, things could change.
