5 posts tagged “mom”
Ever since the semester ended, I've been adjusting to a lot of new changes. I really don't know how I want to sum up the past few months, but I think the best way to tackle the task is by creating a list and then expanding a little on each point. (This is what happens when I have to make lists for both work and school; it starts pouring into my personal life, too! Haha.)
Shawn and Kathleen graduated. I'm not a fan of going to big graduation ceremonies, but as it turns out, I had to go to two within the same month. Shawn had to deal with my bad mood that day (I feel like I kind of ruined part of the experience for him... Bah!), but it ended up going really well. He's completely finished with college and education for the rest of his life. I'm so proud of him, and I couldn't be more jealous. ^///^
Since Shawn graduated, he's been working full time for Kohl's Corporate. Whenever any of my family members, or one of our friends, asks how he likes his job, he always tells them that he doesn't really like what he does there. Even though he says that, I know he really likes it. He's been picking up a ton of responsibilities: going to meetings, being "on call" for days at a time, attending events held by his team, etc. Whether Shawn wants to admit it or not, he likes being needed for something. He really should feel that way, too, especially after all the work he's put into the past few years in school.
Kathleen graduated high school and has been getting ready for college. She's going to the same university that Beth and I are at, which I'm totally psyched about. <3 As happy as I am for her, I have to be honest about the whole situation-- it's been a tough few weeks for her and the rest of our family. We've all been going through some major adjustments and there have been a lot of hurt feelings. I'm not sure where I stand on all of the issues anymore, but I do know that I'm trying to focus on making Kathleen as comfortable as possible with her new living situation with Beth. It's interesting how so many changes in just Kathleen's life have impacted the entire family. Something like this has never really happened in this way before.
My internship is going well.
I'm moving in with Shawn in a few weeks. Even though Shawn and I have lived in our current apartment together, with Beth, we finally found a place for just the two of us. We looked around for a few weeks, did some research, and then found the perfect place for us to live for the next year. I started getting a little stressed out when we were looking, because I hated the fact that I felt "homeless" but everything worked out in the end. The biggest challenge for us now is buying all of our furniture and still having enough money for rent. Like Shawn keeps telling me, we "have to take it slow." I guess I'm just excited about the idea of having an entirely new place to live with all new furniture. It's like I'm putting together a new family or something! ^__^ Slow steps are good.
I had to tell Dad that Shawn and I were moving in together. I had to do it. I mean, after all the years that Dad and I haven't been able to communicate, I had to tell him that Shawn and I were taking this step in our lives. Honestly, I wasn't worried about talking to Dad, but everyone else started to freak out about it. Mom even told me, at one point, that she didn't want to be in the house when I was talking to him. *sigh* Every other person I talked to gasped and made me promise to tell him/her how it went.
The thing is, everyone knows how difficult my relationship with Dad has been throughout my life. His Filipino culture is extremely different from my own, and hearing that two people are moving in together before marriage can tear people apart. There are little secrets to situations like this though: you have to know people. You have to know how they function, how they feel about certain issues, how they react to specific situations, how their thought processes break down information. I did my research and I made a plan.
Last weekend, I went home to talk with Dad. I walked up to him and asked him if we could talk alone. Within the next two hours, we stood there in my parents' bedroom talking about everything. I told him about Shawn and me, and from there we started talking about family and beliefs. Huge breakthroughs were made, and I told him that I wanted to fix everything that had gone so wrong in the past. I know that Dad and I don't have what Mom and I share, but I'm only 23 years old. I can be an adult here and try to fix something like a relationship.
A few times during our talk, Dad broke down. A while back, Mom told me that no one but her had ever seen him cry, and even then, it had happened only twice during their marriage. When he started crying, he told me he felt he was a bad father. And then he kept repeating the same story about how he had left to go on a vacation at a time when things in our family were finally good-- and then how guilty he felt about leaving for those few weeks. Even though I had little recollection about this happening (since I was so little), I felt everything he felt. I know how one guilty memory can tear me to shreds so I did the only thing I could do at the time. I listened.
Not everything between Dad and me is resolved now, but at least we have some of the issues out in the open. I told him that we need to talk more, instead of letting Mom be the messenger between us, and he agreed.
It's been an interesting few weeks. As always, I've been dealing with a lot of the stress by buying myself presents. *guilty look* I know I should be saving money for my new apartment, but having new dolls and accessories makes me feel so much better. They take my mind off of the stress. I'm trying not to repeat what happened last summer! So far, I've only had to take my stress medication for one week and I was able to stop after that. It's a good sign. ^__^
In a way, I feel like I've kind of graduated, too. Usually summer is a slow time for me, but so far, it's proven to be just as hectic as the school year!
I often post photos of Beth and Kathleen on my blog, but I've never had the pleasure of posting photos of my mum. <3 She is the reason for my being and is the source of all my creativity. She has taught me and pushed me in amazing new directions...
I took this photo of my mom this last weekend. She wanted some pretty photos taken of her around the house with all of her beautiful flowers and trees to give away to some special family members. (She's a fantastic and talented gardener.) I was happy to help her with this project, and I especially loved editing all of the photos. I'll try to post those at a later time.
Mom, I'm sure you'll see this since you read my blog every now and then. When you do, just know that I love you!
I'm not one to take pictures of flowers. Flowers are beautiful, yes, but I've always found them a little boring compared to other photo subject opportunities, like people. Flowers are predictable. They're cliche. They do, however, produce beautiful photos if a little creativity in angles is added to the mix. I was so happy with how some photos of flowers turned out earlier this week that I used some of the end products as part of my gift for Mom for Mommy Day. She loved everything, but she has yet to see the ones I was able to to snap while I was at home for the weekend. Most of the photos in this post are of the gorgeous blooming trees and plants in my yard at my parents' house. There's something about going home during some weekends that really takes me back to everything happy when I was little. For the past two years, I've lived in the city most of the time and everything-- the air, the people, the everything-- seems so dry compared to the suburbs. But when I come home, it's like the magic of everything good hits me all over again. It's an escape and a place for me to hide for a while. I think these photos will explain why I love going home so much. Colors speak for themselves.
Beth and I have exams this coming week so the two of us weren't able to celebrate Mommy Day with Mom and Kathleen all at once since we were in and out of the house at different times. Instead of buying presents, we all opted for the more creative (and less expensive) choice: homemade gifts. Beth and Kathleen wrote Mom poems and I gave her a small portfolio of some of my photography. She loved everything, as usual. To this day, she still tells us that no one gives her presents like we do. I second that. ^__^
I'm going to use the rest of this entry to commemorate Mommy Day and Mom, my reason for being, just because she deserves a little something more. So, instead of writing about my rather "meh" week coming up, I'll focus on the positive and good in my life right now: here's a little preview of what goodness there is-- in mommies and beautiful days alike.
Taking photos of flowers can be really fun. I learned that a little oomph has to be put in it though.
I really appreciate all the help from everyone that purchased an item (or items) from me at Kawaii's Flea Market. The market will remain open for as long as need be, so feel free to email me with orders for whatever items are still available. The Effy heart bracelets, especially the red, were very popular. They're perfect for birthday and anniversary presents! I'll mention another item for sale later on in this entry. ^____^
There are times in my life when I like to take breaks from the internet norm. I've become so dependent on journaling/blogging sites for entertainment and friendships that I tend to forget about my own reality. That's the main reason I take a small hiatus every once in a while. I think everyone needs a breather from the computer every now and then. I'm kind of in the middle of one right now, hence the fewer entries and leaving less comments in other Voxes. Once I get out of my hiatus period, I'll comment like crazy. Just you wait!
Several friends on Vox have written entries in their own Voxes about how guilty they feel for not writing enough in their online journals. I always try to tell them not to worry about being able to update very often. Here's my theory: what point is there to write in a journal (online or tangible paper) if you don't live life? The answer is that there is no point. Without experiencing daily life outside of the internet and communicating with others and touching pieces of your individual reality, there would be no real substance within entries. (Substance is a must.) It's important for people to take breaks and get out there and not spend every second online.
I once made a speech for a class (a Journalism course) about internet addictions. I talked about the games people become obsessed with and other random activities that people fall into the habit of depending on for all sources of fun and relaxation. As wonderful as they are, they can be addictions-- addictions that are, at many times, not taken seriously by others, yet harmful to those that experience them. For example, there is the case of the father who locked his little girl in a closet for days because he was too busy playing World of Warcraft to tend to her needs as a child (eating in particular). She died in the closet. There was also the case of the teenage boy who took his relationship with a gaming character on a role playing game to a crazy extent-- so far that when she "broke up" with his character, he committed suicide. Addictions can range from smoking to online gaming; most people don't realize how serious internet dependence has become.
During the speech, I briefly mentioned my own addiction to the internet a few years back. I've always been the quiet person in a group, the one who keeps to herself just because she's happier that way. I don't have the need to put myself out there to be happy. I just love sitting back in my own world, and my own world happened to consist of online journal sites like Open Diary and Livejournal. I would spend hours learning and memorizing HTML to create the perfect journal. I'd then pour myself into creating graphics for my site. After a while, I would shut myself away in my room while everyone else in my house actually experienced life. What happens as a result of addictions? My mood became gloomy and depressed; I gained more weight because of my time sitting rather than walking around; I lost interest in real life friends. I just wasn't a happy person. I fell out of that addiction though and I started treating myself, as well as others, a lot better. I'm now very content with my life because of the amount of control I have. It's amazing what a little wake-up call will do to a person.
My advice is this: get out there so you have something to write about, something new and meaningful to you. Why not? ^^; I'm trying to do the same thing right now. Even if it's going outside to take photos of something I find beautiful, I've found that just one photo can inspire an entire entry.
A little timeout: And now I'm going to stray from the topic of addiction to point out a very special auction I'm holding for my mom right now. She's in the process of selling some jewelry, and I'm helping her. Right now, on Ebay, is a beautiful kunzite and diamond ring that was originally retailed at $3,060.00 USD on Shop NBC. It is now for sale on Ebay with a starting price of $850.00, which is less than half of the original price. As mentioned in my Flea Market post, my mom has exquisite taste for jewelry and is only aquainted with the best of the best. If you're interested in it, here is the Ebay link to my auction. There is no reserve price!
I went shopping with Mom on Friday and, as always, I had fun. On our way out the door Mom told me, "You know, whoever said money doesn't buy happiness... Well, they're wrong." That can come across somewhat snotty or have some negative feeling attached to it if I don't think about it, but when I have it run through my mind a couple times, it really does make sense. Sure, I believe it's wrong to center life around money and material possessions, but let's face the facts of life here, people: money makes the world go 'round. I get happy by making other people happy, and that usually involves some present-giving. People get happy seeing friends and family through using money (with car rides, plane trips, etc.), and I'm no different. A little splurge here and there makes the simple times in life stand out... just like Friday. Mom and I have so much fun when we just go to the mall and do our own, special mom/daughter thing. I miss her so much of the year when I'm gone for school, even if she does get under my skin every now and then.
I don't think I've been to the mall in weeks so going there and having the luxury of splurging on some goodies is something to cling onto for the next few weeks. My favorite present is the large box of lip glosses that Mom bought me at Ulta, a very big (and very pretty) makeup store that just opened a little over a year ago. Not only does my new treasure look yummy with its amazing shades of pink and red, but it smells good, too-- just like chocolate. Our trip to the mall was even more fruitful than Ulta: chocolate (real chocolate, haha) and other sweets that remind me of autumn and Halloween, a toys book that has tons of beautiful pictures of vinyl toys, massage oils for Shawn and me (I can't live without the occasional massage), and other miscellaneous items. I hoarded all of my little treasures into a Victoria's Secret bag and have been taking them out, one by one, so I can take in their full yumminess.
My little pitstop at home that was supposed to be just three hours ended up being a weekend visit. Mom and Kathleen were thrilled. I was, too, because that meant more time with my piggies. Beth and I keep trying to reason with Mom about taking one of our guinea pigs with us to our apartment, but there's always a problem that comes up. Rodents are sensitive creatures and any little change can affect their health. We just don't want to chance it and cause an early death in our perfect family of piggies. We'll just have to deal with the distance for now.
I thought I'd share my random treasures with you-- photos of my book's art/toys, the candy that makes Halloween seem not so far away, and massage oils that are making me feel sleepy right now.
